Brother Spike

Mom-ita found a piece of paper she’d used to write things down on that M-ito has said to us. This is from when he was three years old.

M-ito – “If I have a brother or sister what will their names be?”

Mom-ita – “If we have another child and it’s a girl we’ll name her Lil-ita after my grandmother, just as you were named M-ito after your father’s grandfather.”

M-ito – “If we have a boy can I name him?”

Mom-ita – “What would you name him?”

M-ito – “Spike.”

It’s five years later and we are past being able to have a second child. It is an ache in our hearts that won’t fully go away.

We got a dog in July. It fell into our laps. It had been returned by the original adopting family to a trainer that we know who called us and offered him to us for adoption. He was a little 15 pound, 8 months old hypoallergenic Havanese, and he was already named – Spike.

A Perfect Day

They don’t happen too often but when they do they tend to be simple, just like this past Saturday.

• Wake up at 6am to do yoga practice and prepare for morning class. Asana and seated meditation then shower and get dressed for class.
• 7:15am take Spike-ito out for a walk.
• 8:30am leave to teach morning yoga class. M-ito and Mom-ita are still asleep.
• 9:15-10:45am teach class – students are back from vacations, class is packed, and life is good.
• 11:30am back home for brunch with Mom-ita and M-ito.
• 12:30pm take Spike-ito out for walk with M-ito. We talk about Warhammer games (our newest father son obsession), school, life in general.
• 1:30-4:30pm lazing around on couch with M-ito, him watching Saturday afternoon TV shows, me napping on and off, Mom-ita reading, napping, cleaning.
• 5pm head out with M-ito to the dog run for the first time. Mom-ita is napping.
• 6-6:45pm Watch Spike-ito make friends and play at the dog run. M-ito at first watches from the bench trying to read his book. Then after five minutes of watching Spike-ito run, wrestle, crash into cement pylons, run, run, and run some more with his new pals, M-ito gets up and joins in. He chases Spike-ito then meets the other dogs, moves our stuff next to the other owners on the other bench, and starts up conversations with the other owners like, “What kind of dog is yours? How old is he? Where did you get him?” It’s hard not to smile while you’re at the dog run. It’s a pretty happy place and the happiness is infectious. I marvel at my son and how he, as an eight year old boy holds himself and interacts with adults. As the dogs start to get tired we collar Spike-ito up and walk him home. All the way home we talk about the experience, what we learned about Spike-ito (he’s a high energy dog, loves to run, is faster than the average dog, gets knocked over a lot but like the energizer bunny keeps on going, loves, loves, loves to play, and how much he needs a bath after all the slobbering from all the other dogs and the dirt and dust) and what we’d like to do when we get home.
• 8pm our pizza from Louie’s arrives. M-ito loves their pizza.
• 8:15-10pm we watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid, all three of us and sometimes four of us (Spike-ito included) seated across the couch, laughing. Ice cream included as dessert.
• 10pm Mom-ita takes Spike-ito out for his final walk and M-ito and I head to bed. We read for a few minutes then its lights out.
• 11pm Mom-ita joins us.

Little Green Nubs

“Why do women shave their underarms down to little green nubs?” M-ito asks while we’re walking Spike-ito. When he asks the question he puts his thumb and index finger together and scrunches up his face.

“The simple answer is fashion. In other countries women don’t shave their armpits but here in the US most women do. But let’s see what Mom-ita says,” I reply.

“But why do they have little nubs green under there?”

“That’s probably from deodorant.”

“But why do they do that?”

“People use deodorant so they don’t have body odor.”

“but what if you smell anyway, even with deodorant?”

“Let’s see what Mom-ita says,” I counter.

Twenty minutes later we’re back in the apartment and M-ito asks Mom-ita the same question.

“Peer pressure,” she says.

“Like when all of your friends tell you to do something and you don’t really want to do it but you do it anyway?” I add in.

“Oh,” M-ito says.

There’s so much more to cover, like misogyny, male privilege, a discussion of who determines what is feminine, what is more woman-like, and what is beautiful (mostly men). But for now… fashion and peer pressure covers it all.

Spike-ito is in the House

We got a dog.

We’re in day three of dogdom.

I can’t believe it.

Momita has bad allergies to all creatures with dander so the fact that a dog has been in our home for three days is still amazing to me. Momita has been promising M-ito he could get a dog for a few years – though I’ve had no idea how this would occur. Then by chance a couple of months ago we found a friend with a dog called a Havanese that has hair, not fur and is hypoallergenic. We tried hypoallergenic before with cats when we first got together – Momita loves cats. But even the naked cat (appropriately called the sphinx) caused a bad reaction. I had given up any hope of dogdom (other than being “in the dog house” myself many times) a long time ago so these promises – well, I didn’t take them too seriously because I didn’t think it possible. Momita and her health is much more important than any pet.

Then she chanced upon this dog and two months later, a number of emails to a dog trainer we know, lots of internet time logged studying the breed and looking at recommended breeders, a date to get a dog was arrived upon – September.  Then a connection to another dog trainer who just happened to have an 8 month old Havanese looking for a home occurred and September became July 18th.

We have a dog.

We’re all getting used to each other. One thing I’ll tell you having a dog is a lot of work and it’s very challenging. Even when the dog comes trained and housebroken. As a family we have to work together to integrate Spike-ito (he came named and we decided to stick with the moniker) into our daily life. I have the morning shift before everyone gets up. M-ito and Momita have the afternoon until I come home from work. Then M-ito and I have the evening.

I’ve had dogs before but as a kid. My dad always had them. But that doesn’t mean I know much about how to care for them or what makes them tick.

I read three books, My Smart Puppy, The Perfect Dog, and The Art of Raising a Puppy. My Smart Puppy was the recommended book and the style used to train Spike-ito. But he’s an adolescent and we’re new owners and so we’re off to the races. We have so many things to get used to.

There are crates, poop bags, leashes, collars (three different types), treats, compressed rawhide bones, dog food, food and water bowls, a dog proofing of the apartment (it forced us to clean up better than ever!), a co-op advisement of  “dog-entering-the building” to be sent to the board, pictures to be taken, commands to be learned (was that down, sit, come, or wait?), whining to be heard (only from the dog), and general anxiety about the new responsibility of a 10lb creature to be dealt with (that’s from all parties including the dog).

And how is M-ito about all this? Walking on air at first. But building a long-term relationship with any creature takes time. This will be a big challenge. And I’ll get to watch and help (I hope) along the way. Oh yeah, Momita and I have relationships to build with Spike-ito also – I’d almost forgotten.