Wordplay

We’re at our favorite coffee shop, eating lunch and playing a word game called Crossword Dice (a game I bought from Levenger that has been around since 1948 but which has been recently updated in design – see link). I’ve got my latte and M-ito has rolled the seven dice with letters on them. He’s making words. He spells F – O – C and says outloud, “Foc! I spelled Foc!” He smiles at me with a big gap in his front teeth staring back at me. He pronounces the “c” with a hard “k” sound.

I put a finger to my lips quickly and say, “Shhh.”

“What’s wrong,” he asks. “Foc’s a word. Isn’t it? Foc?” He’s smiling, enjoying the word he’s found.

“Just, don’t say that word out loud,” I say, looking around to see if anyone has heard us.

“Foc?”

“Yesssss! Now stop saying it.”

“Why?”

“Because, because, because it’s a bad word.”

“What’s it mean?”

“It’s a curse, okay? So don’t say it anymore.” Now I’m smiling at the people sitting next to us. I nod and look back at M-ito. “Okay?” 

“Okay,” he says, and shrugs.

I pick up the seven dice and roll them so I can play. “My turn,” I say, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Sometimes you don’t see ‘em coming.

Good Morning Good Morning

Mom-ita is working four days this week. As any good Dad-dito would do, I’m doing double duty, getting M-ito off to school in the morning and leaving early from work to pick him up when school/afterschool is over. I’m pretty tired.

Usually Mom-ita and I take M-ito to school (drive) together and I walk from his school to the subway. The morning tasks with M-ito are divided up between us – Mom-ita makes our son his lunch (heat the thermos with hot water, heat the hot meal, fill the lunchbox, put it by the front door) while I make our son and myself breakfast (Hot cereal for me and Cornflakes for him – Mom-ita has breakfast later with her friends). She has done both jobs many times by herself when I’m away traveling and is a pro. It is rare I have to do it by myself for more than a day or two in a row so I am an amateur. I’m on day four tomorrow. It makes me grateful for the school lunch (today) and for Mom-ita’s ability to multi-task.

I’m getting better, quicker. But my to do list on Monday was sketchier than my list today. 

• Do yoga practice
• Wake Mom-ita up to get to her work
• Get M-ito up (not an easy task)
• Get his clothes together and put them near him on the bed (in case he gets up)
• Make lunch for M-ito (heat the water for the thermos and put the food in the oven)
• Check on M-ito to see if he’s up yet
• Put M-ito’s food in the thermos and thermos in the lunch box
• Make breakfast for M-ito
• Check on M-ito to see if he’s up yet
• Make my own breakfast
• Check again on M-ito to see if he’s opened his eyes
• Plead with M-ito to wake up
• Bribe M-ito to wake up
• Remind M-ito to pee when he does wake up
• Eat breakfast together
• Attempt conversation
• Listen to Pokemon story
• Take shower while M-ito gets dressed nearby
• Get dressed with M-ito finishing getting dressed nearby
• Make sure lunch box is packed and by the front door
• Make sure backpack is packed and by the front door
• Turn inside out M-ito’s socks (the seams bother him)
• Get M-ito’s sneakers laces loose so he can put on his shoes quickly and easily
• Help M-ito get on his sneakers anyway (hold laces with finger while he ties bunny ears)
• Get on my own shoes and jacket
• Help M-ito get on his sweater and jacket
• Tell M-ito he has to wear a hat (it’s cold out)
• Tell M-ito he has to pick a hat (too many choices)
• Adjust the hat he’s chosen (he chooses my favorite hat which I was going to wear so I have to choose another one for myself)
• Hand him his backpack and then help with the arm through the strap (otherwise I’ll watch him going around and around trying to get his arm through the second strap)
• Watch as M-ito goes back to the table for a Pokemon action figure to bring with him
• Watch as M-ito goes back to the table for a Pokemon card from one of his new decks to bring with him
• Remember wistfully that it used to be a Lego Star Wars figure that he took with him
• Go back to the living room for my keys, my wallet, my money, my watch
• Look each other in the eyes and leave together
• Walk to school, holding hands most of the way

Om Nama Shivaya. I’m going to do it again in the morning.

In case it sounds too idylic, we had a huge fight this morning – day three – because he wouldn’t get up and we were half an hour late for school. My tactic was to let him be late and I simmered. Maybe it was better than blowing up. Mom-ita and I fought a little instead on her way out. I said to her, “let me handle it.” I was probably wrong in my approach. As we were on our way out the door M-ito apologized to me. I told him he had to get up in the morning to get to school. Then I added when he was late, I was late to work. Then I added Mom-ita and I fought because he was late this morning (ie: it was his fault). Guilt is my speciality. Then I called him from work a couple of hours later (a phone that goes right into his classroom) and checked to see if he was all right – feeling very very guilty for guilting him on the way to school with words that will probably scar him for life. He sounded fine on the phone as if it had all passed him by a long time ago. I’m glad he’s resilient.

When I picked him up from afterschool ballet, he sat on my lap on the couch outside the classroom for fifteen minutes. We watched all the other kids (all three of them) leave the class with the teacher. I gave him a big hug and kiss. We talked a little while, then, he looked at me and said, “I’m ready to go.” I helped him get changed. I carried his bag (too heavy – it was) and his extra jacket (too hot outside – and it was) and watched as he ran back and forth playing with two friends that we walked a few blocks home with. 

Mom-ita and both joked with M-ito this evening that we would wake him up this morning singing, “Good morning, good morning” from Singing in the Rain. He laughed and laughed. The giggle that launched a thousand ships.

Pokeman Dad-dito Style

My contribution. I printed out the information sheets on each of the Pokeman that M-ito bought, used the three hole punch, and placed them – in alphabetical (that was Mom-ita’s idea) order – into a bright blue binder. We put the cut out cards from the back of the action figure boxes in a side folder and M-ito brought the binder into school with him on Friday. The kids said he was now “officially” the smartest kid in Pokeman – because he had the binder which told them everything about his Pokeman. Count one for Dad-dito… finally.

Know Your Pokeman

When Star Wars was in (which it was for the last six months) M-ito knew all of the character’s names, each of the episodes story lines from beginning to end (each that we allowed him to watch) which is what comes from watching them 1 or 2 dozen times each, and had memorized all the key lines for major and minor characters. He also loves Legos and his knowledge of each of the models he built added to his reference base. He carried the Legos characters into school each day so they could play with them together. He had, amongst his peers, a mastery of the subject and so, on the playground during recess, he was in with the boys.

The shift to playing more with boys occurred with the rise of Star Wars when school started back in September. Then about a week or two ago – we’re not sure exactly how long but it’s about that long – a change occurred. Pokeman took over and M-ito’s knowledge base of Pokeman is very very low.

The girls are, “playing games I don’t want to play,” he told us when we asked.

The boys – some of whom have older brothers who were weened on Pokeman – had mastery. They didn’t allow M-ito to play with them. “You don’t know them (the characters) well enough so you can’t play,” they said to him. My son is smart and is a leader in his class. For the first time with this group he found himself outside of the social circle. He’s been playing by himself all week during what used to be his favorite subject – recess. We could tell, he was crushed.

Mom-ita, of course figured this out quickly and came up with a solution. She brought him to ToyRus today and they bought some Pokeman action figures. They came home and M-ito showed me Chatot and Palkia and I could see his face light up. The three of us looked on the internet for Pokeman resources and Mom-ita found a site with descriptions of each of the characters he had bought. In case you didn’t know there is a collectible card game a collectible figure game, and over ten years of gaming history to wade through. It was not easy to find, but Mom-ita persisted.

M-ito now knows each of his character’s type, and special powers, size, weight, and height. Mom-ita also made sure our son bought one character that he knew no other boy had. He will go into school tomorrow with knowledge, and power, and a backpack full of Pokeman action figures. My guess is the water dragon Palkia will be in the mix.  The boys who played with him when they were all into Star Wars must now let him in to the land of Pokeman. The look on my sons face is heartbreaking.

I never would have figured out how to help him. I was stuck unable to see why anyone would not want to play with my son. I just couldn’t get past that. My wife is amazing. To her it’s not rocket science. It’s simply knowing our son.

Yoga (M-ito) Sutra

I was up at 5:50 am, late for me. The darkness was fuller with daylight savings pushing the sun farther away from the early morning hours. M-ito awoke at 6:30 when I went in to wake Mom-ita. We had a date day planned and had some preparation for our morning/afternoon together. M-ito’s eyes were open and he rolled out of bed. I walked him to the bathroom and, after he’d peed, into the dark living room. 

“I’m half way through my yoga,” I said quietly. “You want to lie on the couch and wait?”

“No,” he said. “Can I do yoga with you?”

It has been a while since we’ve done any yoga together. I’ve been out of his school because of my work load since November and feeling guilty about not teaching yoga to his class and the kindergardeners. This all flashed through my mind as he looked up at me. 

I smiled. “Sure.” I said. I put a blanket down for him, next to mine. 

“This is the perfect size for me,” he said.

“It is,” I echoed.

We did pidgeon or eka pada rajakapotasana.

“I can do this, Dad-dito,” he said.

We did navasana or boat pose.

“That’s hard to do, Dad-dito,” he said shaking while he balanced on his sits bones. Then we did tabletop together and he laughed. “I can balance on my knees,” he said, coming down to earth and rolling onto his knees. “Watch this!”

“That’s hard to do, M-ito,” I said and didn’t even try to put that kind of pressure on my old workhorses.

“Is this a yoga pose?” he asked.

“It is now,” I said.

“I made up a new yoga pose!” he said.

“Indeed you did.”

We followed with janu-sirsasana, setu-banda sarvangasana, a full wheel, and savasana. Then we rolled onto our sides together and sat up. 

“I’m doing my Om Namos,” I said. 

“Can I do them with you?”

“Sure.”

“Can we set up the blankets facing each other?” he asked. I said yes and set up our blankets next to each other so we could find cross-legged pose with our knees almost touching. I showed him half-lotus and he found it easily. “Can I use your beads?” he asked.

I hesitated a moment. My mala has my energy in it. Then I thought of the beauty of his fingers working through each of the worn beads and nodded. “Sure,” I said. “I’ll use yours.” His is a wrist mala. “Just remember I have to go around three times and you only go around once.”

M-ito nodded. “I want to do your new one – what is it again?”

“Om tare, tutare, ture, sarva shanteem kuru swaha.”

“Um… maybe I’ll just do my old one.”

“Okay,” I said. “Ho sum, sum ho, it is.”

M-ito finished five beads before I did.

“Namaste,” we said together and bowed to each other.

Then it was time to get ready for school.

Om nama shivaya.

The Suite Life redux

M-ito isn’t allowed to watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. It seems like a harmless show and it’s Disney. I know, I know. But have you watched the show? The two kids are a little older than M-ito and they generally behave badly throughout the show. They talk back to adults. They do what they’re told not to do. One treats girls badly. The adults act like fools. And the two boys, as a reward, have fun and laugh a lot. I smiled watching an episode. M-ito loves the show. But … Mom-ita has banned it. 

What happens is he watches the show and then we eat dinner and his behavior deteriorates. He talks back. His manners drop. Basically, he starts acting like Zack and Cody. So he can’t watch the show anymore. This is as it should be. I’ll miss it. At least there’s still Phineas and Ferb.

Mixed Metaphors – Snow and S-t-o-o-p-i-d

I left early from work. There was snow – over 6 inches. I still had plenty of work to do but the snow was calling me. My son was calling me, even though he hasn’t figured out how to dial the phone yet. Besides, how many snow days were we going to get this winter? School was closed and he was home, waiting to go outside. I figured it was the last chance for a sled ride. So I left work and we fought trying to get out of the apartment because that’s what we do these days. The ten feet to the front door from the coat stand is still the longest, slowest ten feet of my life. First we put on the socks. Then we adjust the socks. Then we put on the shoes. Then we adjust the socks in the shoes and take the shoes off because they don’t “feel right.” Then we put on the shoes and look for the sweatshirt. We put on the sweatshirt one arm at a time. Then we do the zipper. Then we adjust the shoes again because those socks are slipping down. Then we put on the coat. Then we zipper the coat. Then argue over whether we need to wear the hat. It’s 20 degrees out and he has to wear the hat. Then there are tears. Then the hat goes on. Then the gloves, one at a time. Then the scarf. Then, I’m sweating because all this time I’ve been fully dressed. Can you hear my silent scream? But, we made it to the park in Woodside and we hit the slopes and trudged through the snow and laughed and laughed and his giggle was like a balm to all the tension of leaving work early and the fight over leaving the apartment. And his gap toothed smile is from a picture postcard. We went down double on the inflatable sled maybe a dozen times and drank hot chocolate Mom-ita had packed for us. It was just about perfect.

There was one blemish. A group of 13-15 year old boys were playing and cursing near the top of the sledding ramp and we had to go through them to get to our last ride of the afternoon. One of the boys hit his friend when he cursed after noticing my son within earshot. “Watch the language,” said to his friend. They let us go ahead of them. M-ito took it all in and filed it away for reference.

We got home as it was getting dark. Mom-ita was waiting for us and asked us about our afternoon.

M-ito told her about the boys and their cursing.”

“Do you know what cursing is?” Mom-ita asked him.

“No Mom-ita,” he said. I’d used the word in explaining what the boys had been saying and doing.

“Well, you know the word s-t-o-o-p-i-d?” Mom-ita asked. That’s how M-ito has spelled it since he first learned from us that it was a bad word and not to be used at all. So, he’d spell it when he wanted to tell us he’d heard someone use it and never used the word himself.

“Yes,” he said.

“Well,” Mom-ita said, “its worse than that.”

“You mean like idiot, Mom-ita?

Mom-ita laughed. “Yeah, like idiot.”

It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Suite Life

It has happened. My son has finally learned how to use the remote and TV land has opened up to him. His favorite shows are no longer just on Animal Planet. The Disney channel is now king and queen. The Suite Life of Zack and Cody has become one of his favorite shows and Phineas and Ferb (a cartoon) are a close second. The transition to live action is in the process and cartoon interest has changed from more innocent children’s shows to more sophisticated – read more slap-sticky and sarcastic humor. Perhaps that is not more sophisticated. Let’s just say the lessons are not as clear and sometimes “bad” behavior is rewarded more than good. I’m worried about how it will impact on M-ito’s behavior.

Mom-ita relented last night and allowed him to watch The Suite Life with the caveat that, “Remember… how those two kids behave is not how we want you to behave.”  M-ito nodded, his eyes already glazed over and his brain turned to mush. The kids Zack and
Cody are more in the 8-10 range and both innocent and obnoxious at the same time – what seems to pass for the standard on the media for children of that age. I’ve watched the show with M-ito and laughed at its silliness and also been saddened by it’s stupidity. I mourn the days of Oswald and 64 Zoo Lane where the moral of each story is clear and the friendship messages pure.